Pretty Successful

The force behind 'she' success

6 killer things to say when you hear a gossip about yourself

  1. “Oh crap! I hoped no one will find out about it but now that everyone already knows I have nothing to worry….”
  2. “I need a drink…..I seriously need a drink to wash out the crap that I just heard ……”
  3. “Well, my day was going average until this moment but you made is super awesome because I learnt something new about myself today (sarcastically)!”
  4. “Really….like, I mean…really????….reallyyy, reeeeeeally..reaaaaaaallllyyyyy….???” Just stress on each syllable and keep repeating the same word. It could even be…..Wow…Wooooow….Woowie wowww….or gooodddd…..goooood…good…..or …nice…niiiiceee….niiiiiiiceeee…… keep repeating until you trance to the oblivion and lose your sense of reality …..once you reach this state, no rumour can affect you
  5. “Who told you that? Where did you hear that? Just tell me the name……” say it with anger while clenching your fist and banging it on the table. If there is no table around then you can grind your teeth while saying it. Oh yes, furrowed brows and blood in the eyes are a must to complete the terror effect. Also lean forward a bit reducing the distance …. so that the other person thinks you are reaching out to grab their throat
  6. “Hahaha….yes that’s true……also you know what’s true…..I know a serial killer who likes to kill gossipers….wuhuhahahaha….” and then give them a visual picture of how this serial killer hunts them down in a dark night and cuts the tongue of the gossiper and force feeds it to them before finally slitting their throat very very very slowly…….the narration should be so impactful that they remember it for a long time and the next time they talk behind your back, they remember this story more than the actual gossip

And yes, don’t forget to enjoy after this because you are the centre point of some people’s lives….so just bask in the glory of this stardom…..and stay happy because what annoys a gossiper the most is your happiness and I don’t care attitude!

On a serious note, if you want to tackle the conversation one-on-one with the gossiper then read these strategies before you take that plunge. Also, read how to handle gossip at  work.


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