“who gossips to you will gossip about you”
You are angry, you are mad
You have identified who was the gossiper spreading rumours about you …
You want to confront them head on
You want to beat the shit out of them so that they never ever dare to gossip about you…
Well yes, you are right. You must speak to them but wait… are you ready for the conversation?
These 5 things will help you not just stop them gossiping but also make them your ally….What ally? I can’t stand that person, forget about making friends…well okay then don’t follow all the steps, just the ones which will not make them your enemy…I don’t care, I hate them from the bottom of my heart, I don’t care if they are my biggest enemies, I hate them…..well if you don’t care then just don’t read this post because you have already made up your mind so move on …. your attitude is the reason why people don’t like you and would continue gossiping about you. Now there’s the first lesson of life- stay positive always, no matter what. Read more about 5 successful character traits to rise in your career and relationships here.
For the rest of you who want to handle the situation amicably with a win-win result, here follow these time-tested mantras which will help you have that conversation with the gossiper
- Do your homework- every office will have at least one or a close knit bunch of gossipers who are behind originating rumours about others. They usually gossip about everyone, mainly everyone successful. Find out about their weakness and that could very easily be a gossip they spread about another colleague. That could be your weapon during the discussion. Warn them that if they continue gossiping about others they will meet dire consequences including expulsion from their jobs as these matters could be reported officially and escalated to senior levels.
- Closed doors- Keep the discussion confidential, make sure no one is overhearing so choose a private meeting room over an open cafeteria. Make sure you warn them of the consequences of gossiping around. If you have done your homework, you would know that they have gossiped about others too and you can cite those examples and threaten them to reveal their true nature to everyone
- Poker face- throughout your conversation, keep a straight face without expression. Neither should you show agitation on your face nor should you try to be extra friendly. Stay serious and make sure that they understand the seriousness of their gossip
- Keep it short- cut to the chase sooner and be to the point. This adds to the seriousness of your conversation.
- Ask questions- involve them in the discussion so that it doesn’t become a one-way conversation. Ask them relevant questions like what would they do if they were in your situation? What are they trying to achieve by defaming others? Do they need help to achieve something they want?
Also be ready that they might completely deny the allegation and either blame it on others or just try to swing it by showing fake anger. Don’t get deterred and finish the conversation you prepared to have with them. Tell them everything that you would have said to them despite the denial.